Brilliant. I find most churches operate a one-to-the-many, top down model of communication. You’re in audience mode most of the time, and that alone makes that greet-your-neighbour thing seem inauthentic and a stunt. If any relationships are forged in that environment it’s an accident not the intent.
Ooooffff, this hits hard. The transactional inventory of a "pros and cons" list instead of you... that's such a clear picture of what happens when someone (or a system) is interested in your utility and not your humanity.
And you're right: real conversation does take work. It requires presence, curiosity, the willingness to be surprised by someone. Most systems I have been in, whether relational or institutional, aren't built for that kind of mental load. It is messy.
The good news? You're naming it. And that awareness is the first step toward building something different on the other side.
Sending you strength as you navigate this transition. 💙
Brilliant. I find most churches operate a one-to-the-many, top down model of communication. You’re in audience mode most of the time, and that alone makes that greet-your-neighbour thing seem inauthentic and a stunt. If any relationships are forged in that environment it’s an accident not the intent.
As an introvert, I always hated that part of the "service" - it honestly felt like a disservice to my well being.
I can say that some of the people I am still in connection with from my time in the church were from the more personal, conversation focused spaces.
Ooooffff, this hits hard. The transactional inventory of a "pros and cons" list instead of you... that's such a clear picture of what happens when someone (or a system) is interested in your utility and not your humanity.
And you're right: real conversation does take work. It requires presence, curiosity, the willingness to be surprised by someone. Most systems I have been in, whether relational or institutional, aren't built for that kind of mental load. It is messy.
The good news? You're naming it. And that awareness is the first step toward building something different on the other side.
Sending you strength as you navigate this transition. 💙