A Gentle Guide to the Holidays
Finding Your Peace in the Noise
Mariah Carey seems to defrost a little earlier every year, doesn’t she?
And yet before the last autumn leaf has even fallen, a tidal wave of expectations can begin to build. We are told this is the season of joy, connection, and celebration.
Our local stores have holiday items for sale before Halloween. It seems that the capitalist culture is trying to deregulate us earlier and earlier in the hopes we’ll spend our money to easy our anxiety.
For many, this season is full of joy and connection. And for just as many, it’s… complicated.
If the thought of the holidays this week fills you with a quiet sense of dread, a familiar exhaustion, or a deep-seated ache of grief; if you are bracing for impact rather than opening your arms in welcome, please hear this first:
Your experience is real, and it is valid.
There is nothing wrong with you for finding this time of year difficult. T
he pressure to feel a certain way can be a heavy burden.
This post isn’t about forcing joy.
It’s about giving you tangible, gentle ways to protect your peace and stay connected to yourself amidst the beautiful, and often overwhelming, chaos of the season.
Three Steps to Keep Your Sense of Self
This is about reclaiming agency, one small choice at a time.
It’s about remembering that you are the ultimate authority on your own well-being.
1. Define Your “Enough”
The holidays are a masterclass in perceived obligation. The pressure to buy the perfect gift, attend every gathering, perform happiness, and create magical moments can be crushing.
What if, this year, you decided what “enough” looks like for you?
Maybe enough is one gathering, not five.
Maybe enough is a thoughtful, heartfelt card instead of an expensive gift.
Maybe enough is simply getting through the day with your nervous system intact.
You have permission to define your own capacity. Your energy is a finite and precious resource. Spend it where it truly matters to you, not where expectation dictates.
2. The Gentle Art of the Boundary
A boundary is not a wall you build to punish others; it is a line you draw to protect your inner peace. It is one of the deepest acts of self-care. It is a declaration that your needs matter.
Boundaries can feel scary, so let’s make them practical. They can be soft and simple:
Time Boundaries: “We’d love to come, but we can only stay for an hour.”
Topic Boundaries: “I’d really prefer not to talk about that today. How about we catch up on [safe topic] instead?”
Energy Boundaries: “I don’t have the bandwidth for that this year, but I’m sending you all my love.”
These sentences are complete. They do not require a lengthy defense.
Remember, “No.” is a complete sentence.
3. Find and Protect Your Anchor
In a season that can pull you in a thousand different directions, an anchor is a small, intentional practice that brings you back to yourself. It doesn’t need to be grand. It just needs to be yours.
What is one small thing that reminds you of who you are, outside of all the roles you play?
Is it the first cup of tea in the morning, before anyone else is awake?
Is it a 10-minute walk, just to feel the cold air on your face?
Is it a specific playlist that grounds you?
Is it five minutes of journaling to untangle your thoughts?
Identify your anchor and invite it show up when you need it.
It is your moment of return to self.
An Invitation: A Moment to Ground Yourself
When you feel the swirl of overwhelm—the noise, the lights, the conversation, the internal pressure—here is a gentle embodiment practice to find yourself.
You are welcome to practice this or not, feel free to skip over this part if it doesn’t feel safe in your body. As always, consent is key.
Step 1: Wherever you are—seated or standing—press your feet gently into the ground. Really feel the points of contact. Notice the texture of your socks or the firmness of your shoes.
Step 2: Take one slow breath in, and as you breathe out, imagine you are releasing just 10% of the tension in your shoulders and jaw.
Step 3: Take a second slow breath, and as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to drop a little further away from your ears.
Step 4: Take a third slow breath, filling your stomach. As you exhale, just notice the sensation of being in your body, right here, right now.
This isn’t about making the hard feelings go away.
It is simply a way to interrupt the spiral and remind your nervous system that you are physically present and safe in this moment.
Navigating this season is a deeply personal journey.
You get to decide what you need, what you can offer, and where you need to retreat. There is no one right way to do it.
I want to invite you to be gentle with yourself.
I want to encourage you by saying, “You are doing the best you can with what you have.”
Wishing you moments of quiet, clarity, and a deep, unwavering sense of your own self.
Your dignity matters—always.